It’s a men’s world

Today is a good day to tell you more about my work with men. Being a man is not something that you will learn by accident. It’s a hard job, and unfortunately, most people don’t even know about this lifetime job. Neither did I, but at the age of 26, everything changed dramatically. My world opened up. A rush of great energy flew into my veins. At this point, I was aware, and the journey had just started.

Disclaimer

First, I want to clarify that I will write my story as a young man and the view into the current world. I don’t want to discriminate against women, nor do I want to attack any other groups. I hope with this short article you will get some food for thoughts about the role of men in our society and maybe you will find some interesting facts

Why this topic?

I want to ask you a question, and please take a second to think about it for a moment.

How many men (out of ten) are afraid to approach a woman in real life?

I want to jump into this exciting topic right away since this was the initial step in my life. After I broke up with my lovely girlfriend, I found myself single in my mid-twenties. Not knowing what to do with the new freedom, I’ve been somewhat confused than really enjoying this time. But I read a book and all my values changed. `every man can learn how to flirt` this sentence has been stuck in my head ever since. I was convinced that just boys can go along with girls and others can’t.

9 out of 10 men have anxieties approaching or even speaking to a woman—a shocking number. Most women I asked didn’t even know that this was a thing. Yes! Men have to develop skills and grow self-esteem to be confident speaking to women. Even a high percentage of these easy-flirting guys feel a slight tension of anxiety. If they want to confess or not, they do.

Why is this a problem?

Becoming a real man is hard work. If you can call yourself lucky and have intelligent parents who know about the different developing needs of men and women, give them greetings from me, they did a good job. For the rest, it’s up to you now. Especially in Western society, men have to be very active and satisfy their inner calling and needs. Otherwise, you will suppress your nature and become a dangerous person for yourself and others. I have seen guys in their 70 that still make irresponsible stuff. But, on the other hand, I have friends that are barely 20 and speak like my grandpa, hours before he died.

Who are our teachers?

Let’s have a brief look at our early days. For centuries, the roles of men and women were clear. The kid’s education belongs to the task of the wife and her friends. Sounds familiar? Then you are also grown up in modern western society. Over 80% of female caretakers, teachers, and nurses train our youngest ones, also in 2021. That means, in that time, most men were raised in a female environment by female energy and values.

Unfortunately, I’m missing the balance of the male energy, and the scream for male teachers/therapists/healers is high than ever. But there is also a change. Nowadays, it’s not unusual that the father stays home, organizes the household, and actively participates in the child’s education. It’s a start. Now we have to bring more awareness.

Our heritage

The next chapter is a sensitive topic. I have to go back to World War II. One of the last wars that brought the entire planet into trauma. Many people lost their lives,  beloved partners, or related family members. The most tragic part for me: We lost all men. And I mean it. Old and young people needed to serve, and if they didn’t get killed at the field, they came back hardly traumatized. Not able to take part in society. Not thinking about a functioning father that will raise proper children.

These are our Grandfathers.

And our grandmothers were the ones who built up Europe again. It was also their task to do the physical labor and clean the rest of the front. In the end, they raised the children and took over the family lead. So that is a beautiful moment to show some appreciation `thank you for the astonishing work you all did.`

My point is that we have a huge potential for trauma here. After the wars, there was no time to heal the traumatized people. There were also not many men left who could have helped with support in the healing process or education of the new generation. And this trauma might hang in nearly every family involved in the wars. But, slowly get more sensitive about these topics, and the grand and grand grandchildren start to separate and heal.

Let’s start the healing process

Part of my mission is the work with men of all ages. I took part in different workshops and met great people and mentors. I maintained an intense relationship with my male friends for a couple of years and built up workshops by myself. We talk, eat, fight, meditate, and sing together. The unique energy that comes up when men come together is not describable.

There is a reason why different tribes separate men and women from time to time. Something that was ritual for thousands of years. It’s time to activate the old traditions again and implement them into modern society.

I will end this article since I don’t want to create a long story here. But I will continue with that topic pretty soon. So if you have any comments or thoughts, please share them, and we can discuss them together.

All the best

Ben