26 – Australia/Netherlands
Ben’s Ayahuasca therapy was something that I was very curious about. I’d done a small amount of research into Ayahuasca previously, which had always grasped at my attention, but I had never really pursued the idea as a therapy. With that in mind I was still very open to trying the drug and felt that the opportunity to do so wasn’t one to pass up.
Having consulted with Ben about my previous experiences with psychedelics, my expectations, and my current mental state, he assured me that it would be a worth while venture. The following week he forwarded me some information about the drug and the necessary prep-work that was to be completed prior to the experience. I also supplemented this with my own research just so that I fully understood what I was getting into. I would recommend anybody be well versed in the drug to maximise the potential for a positive experience.
On the day of my appointment, I met ben at his place. Shortly after arriving, we had a thirty minute drive to the house where I would be drinking. The property was a small quiet cottage located on the water front of a lake. It had a air of ‘coziness’ which was accented with a wood heater and candles. Ben offered me tea as I made my self comfortable. I had a touch of nerves, but over all I was very at ease.
The medicine it self was better then I expected. I had hyped myself up for drinking black sewerage, but I was pleasantly surprised when the first part tasted like cold bitter coffee. The second part was also bitter and was more akin to drinking muddy canal water due to the suspended sediment. Upon swallowing I could feel it sitting in my stomach. This feeling would gradually increase giving you the illusion that you had been poisons, which was very similar to the body load of a mushroom trip.
This nausea lasted for about an hour. I was mentally prepared to vomit, but it never amounted to anything more then a burp. By now the thoughts and visuals had caught up and I could no longer focus on my stomach. I found the mental aspect a little distracting. Thoughts would come into my head but they wouldn’t linger. This gave the impression that you were working through your issues, as opposed to LSD where you can cycle around and get locked into a thought loop. There were some thoughts that I felt I would have liked to stay on, but ayahuasca has other ideas. You are very much in the passenger seat on this ride.
Throughout the whole experience Ben sat opposite me with a watchful eye. His presents was never intruding, more inspiring as he sat reading in the corner. Through teary eyes, we would make contact which was met with a smile and a question to see how I was doing. I never once felt any unease at the situation, dispute being completely inhibited by the drug’s effects.
After around five hours I started to come back down to reality. It was a slow decent which was spurred in with some tea out side. I felt physically drained after the experience and had some troubles with depth perception and forming sentences. I could also feel a headache coming on. That night I had a rough sleep, and it wasn’t until two days later that I felt truely myself. I put that down to the headache which carried into Monday at work.
The week following I had a nice sense of calm. I didn’t have any big revelations about my life, more just confirmation that I’m on the right path. Over all, I liken the experience to cleaning your bedroom. If you keep it tidy, you don’t have a lot of work to do. If it’s messy, then the Ayahuasca will force you to take the first steps necessary for a more fulfilling life.
The day itself was set up nicely. We drove to a family house of his, which has a quiet and relaxed atmosphere. After showing me around to get familiar with the place he prepared a fire, some music and set the shop up. We sat down over tea and he instructed me further on how to drink the ayahuasca.
It would take two installments, drinking a brown clear fluid that didn’t taste too bad and a more earthy muddy drink, which I would describe as bitter and grainy.
The bodily sensations took getting used to, as the sensation stuck to my stomach and interfered with a sense of wooziness: comparable to compounds that alter one’s sense of perception and time. I fell into moments of inward thoughts and feelings at times and spoke both clear and gibberish to Ben during the event, wandered around the house and felt secure and guarded by him the entire time. He asked if needed and wrote or read by himself when I was lost in my own thoughts. We ate a light meal together afterwards and reflected on the experience.
Overall an intense day, but more than anything it felt really good and effective. Ayahuasca feels like exercise to me, to stretch the mind and what not, a tool to break through certain issues at hand but also as a reminder to continue with personal growth and progress afterwards by yourself.
Ben proved to be a great and reliable guide. He offered me steadiness, was calm and thrust-worthy when a jolt to the system hit me. I would do it all over, will again in the future and recommend his guidance if needed or wanted.